Bleorg Blog!

Halloween is coming, let's dance!

2009-10-29T16:25:00.001-04:00

Hip Hop Renders Critics...Bemused.

2009-08-22T02:07:00.001-04:00

Apparently, This Is Real

2009-08-12T00:09:00.000-04:00

Not the best forum, but...Here's a New Project I'm Working On.

2009-07-24T03:09:00.006-04:00

Last of the Mohicans - Starring Daniel Day-Lewis (1992)

A League of Their Own - Starring Tom Hanks (1992)

The Last Samurai - Starring Tom Cruise (2003)

Dangerous Minds - Starring Michelle Pfeiffer (1995)

And In Another Vein:

Bound - Starring Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon (1996)

Brokeback Mountain - Starring Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal (2005)

What do you guys think? Looking for imput. Thanks.

Hello!

2009-07-14T13:06:00.003-04:00

Trogdor!

2009-07-06T15:39:00.002-04:00

Strongbad rules.

"I said CONSUMMATE V's! CONSUMMATE!!"

This is Great

2009-06-23T02:34:00.001-04:00

Andrew W.K. Parties With Kids

2009-06-16T16:26:00.003-04:00

Andrew W.K. hosts a new kids game show, "Destroy, Build, Destroy." It appears to be Junkyard Wars for kids but with bazookas. Wish I had this to watch instead of Double Dare as a kid.

Bleorg Animated

2009-06-08T16:20:00.001-04:00

Sooooo. Um, when's the next bleorg post?

2009-06-05T02:54:00.004-04:00

WHAT? Fuck you guys, I was busy! And where the hell are all your posts?

Someone's Going To Get Rich Selling This And That Pisses Me Off

2009-05-28T15:56:00.003-04:00

I thought the bath robe was perfectly designed. It's so perfect that the Snuggie people have made millions marketing a robe that you wear backwards. I must be wrong. Why else would this have needed to be invented?

Awww...

2009-05-26T00:59:00.001-04:00

This very susinctly sums up the very real need for a service like Bleorgblog

2009-05-21T03:05:00.004-04:00

Would you call me up and leave a joke on my voicemail? No, of course you wouldn't. You, instead, BLEORG.

It is vaguely less embarrassing.

Whose 69th Birthday Is It?

2009-05-19T17:22:00.004-04:00

Did'ja catch the birthday wishes on Channel 4 this morning? I'm guessing you didn't, hence, this post.

I can't believe somebody submitted this and was able to sneak this past the director, the dude who sets up the teleprompter, the geek who made the graphic, and the anchor.

How Not To Pass A Breathalizer

2009-05-15T13:13:00.000-04:00

200th POST!!!

2009-05-13T13:15:00.003-04:00

All things being equal, we now know that the internet has-bare minimum-200 funny things on it.

Lets make fun of Sham Wow For A While!

2009-05-13T11:56:00.001-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I Hate People

2009-05-12T12:05:00.001-04:00

That 'Report Abuse' button must be the most pushed button on the internet.

www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com

2009-05-10T19:58:00.001-04:00

America, F' YEAH!

uh..

2009-05-08T00:29:00.001-04:00

Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat!

2009-05-07T11:38:00.003-04:00

I think you need to watch this one first, to get the concept:

Thanks to Chris
Find more here

Cleveland Rocks!

2009-05-06T15:47:00.002-04:00

Hmm.... sounds like a neat place but I'm still not sure...

SOLD!! Meet you there!

Here's one I hadn't actually heard before

2009-05-05T01:49:00.000-04:00

Clicky for BIG

The Matrix hits Bollywood for Middle Aged Men!

2009-05-03T17:52:00.002-04:00

So hard to decide what the best part of this is...my vote is the Elvis Glasses. I kept waiting for them to get broken and for him to finally get angry.

What's your vote?

If he was a crack head, he wouldn't have a gut, you think?

2009-05-02T00:57:00.001-04:00

What else could be wrong with him?

One More From the Vault

2009-05-01T00:04:00.001-04:00

You treat your stepmother with respect, Pantera, or you'll be sleeping in the street!

I actually tried for five minutes to come op with a good title for this one...

2009-04-29T11:39:00.000-04:00

Another Classic

2009-04-27T21:28:00.000-04:00

Oldie but a goodie

2009-04-27T16:50:00.000-04:00

Seriously, What it Wrong With German People?

2009-04-26T13:38:00.001-04:00

NEVER GANNA GET AHAYAD NO!

2009-04-26T11:47:00.002-04:00

the end is the best...at 4:12.

"You Suffer" by Napalm Death = The Shortest Song of All Time!

2009-04-25T20:48:00.000-04:00

The downside to College

2009-04-25T17:50:00.001-04:00

Ran-God-Damn (Part 1 of an ongoing series of random Bullshit)

2009-04-25T02:38:00.005-04:00

I'm tired of pretending that this stuff is supposed to knit together into some kind of a higher medium. Sometimes shit is just funny: I give you:

"So you claim wigs do--what now--for a man's dignity?

Is there a hot key for "Enlarge/Flipbook?" Imagine this in 24fps. Epic! Click for big!

Lawn: In Order.

I just want you know know who much of a coward I am, because RIGHT NOW, I am NOT hiding behind a trash can, waiting for a chance to do this...

Yeah!

2009-04-24T12:55:00.003-04:00

Eh, I got nothin'
these speak for themselves.

Damn, Shawty!: The News on Auto-Tune (picks up at around 1:25 or so..)

2009-04-24T01:14:00.000-04:00

Real Life PAC MAN!

2009-04-22T21:45:00.001-04:00

PAC MAN (REMI GAILLARD)
Uploaded by nqtv

Uh, I never even thought to ask...

2009-04-22T01:07:00.001-04:00

In case you've forgotten...

2009-04-21T16:52:00.000-04:00

Don't Underestimate the Suggestive Power of Theme Music

2009-04-21T14:52:00.000-04:00

Introducing the Greatest Japanese Anthropormorphic Paramilitary Bunny Drama Ever Made!

2009-04-21T14:19:00.003-04:00

Be sure to watch in HQ!

I'm totally getting a bunny just so I can name him 'Botasky'

O Those Monkey-Fightin' Snakes: S.O.A.P. TV-edit

2009-04-20T18:07:00.000-04:00

Fuck My Life

2009-04-20T12:15:00.002-04:00

I recently began to follow fxxxmylife on Twitter. Its the twitter feed for the website http://www.fmylife.com which is a site where people send in short anecdotes that all end with 'fuck my life.'

Here's a few of the better ones from the last week:

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years having sex with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!!". April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

Today, a women drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible to do. Now my house is condemned. FML

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML

Today, I was at the aquarium with my boyfriend. I ran to my favorite section: the petting section and started petting a sea slug. My boyfriend eventually came up next to me and I jokingly told him "this feels a lot like your cock". When I turned to him, it was a random 10 year old boy. FML

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

Today, I was working as a counselor at a fat camp. The kids bet me I couldn't do a sit-up while blindfolded. Never one to turn down a bet from minors, I set out to prove them wrong. When I sat up, my nose went right into a fat kid's buttcrack. FML

Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

Today, my entire family blamed me for the death of my grandpa, because I didn't go to church this morning. I didn't go to church because I was the only one who volunteered to stay with him that night, because everyone else wanted to go play on my uncle's new Wii. FML

Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

Anthropomorphizing AWAY!

2009-04-19T02:27:00.000-04:00

If you don't already have plans for the weekend..

2009-04-17T19:59:00.001-04:00

Plez double check the Google Machine before you desecrate your body, kids

2009-04-16T20:06:00.003-04:00

(Click for BIG)

Movie Day!

2009-04-16T16:55:00.004-04:00

More of Cinema at its Finest, Just For You, Paul: Riki-Oh, a Kung-Fu Masterpiece!

2009-04-14T21:15:00.001-04:00

I LOVE photoshop phriday!

2009-04-14T14:22:00.002-04:00

There's just something about kids using bad language

Warning: Tools and Machines Will Utterly Destroy You!

2009-04-13T17:40:00.001-04:00

Easter!

2009-04-13T13:53:00.000-04:00

SPORTZ ! ! ! (Part 4)

2009-04-11T23:22:00.003-04:00

Zoccar ! ! !

HOONZ ! ! !

DANZ ! ! !

CHEAP SEATZ ! ! !

A-SEXUAL PANTZ CRAPPINGZ ! ! !

World's Most Awesome Dude Has World's Most Awesome Business Card!

2009-04-11T19:43:00.001-04:00

Self-Help

2009-04-11T11:31:00.001-04:00

SPORTZ ! ! ! (Part 3)

2009-04-10T14:41:00.002-04:00

TENNIZ ! ! !

MOTORSPORZ ! ! !

BLOODPREZZURE ! ! ! MEDICAZTIONZ ! ! !

HUNTINGZ ! ! ! SLASH REINACTINGZ ! ! !

LAWN MATINEZ ! ! !

One Way to Dodge "Gotcha" Journalism

2009-04-10T13:02:00.001-04:00

I'm Not Your Buddy, Guy!

2009-04-10T02:20:00.002-04:00

Make sure you watch the previous southpark post before this post. I never do this. I swear I am opposed to putting blatant politics on Bleorg Blog. So please, when you watch this...I am not trying to put out a political statement...I just want you to keep the title of this posting, 'I'm NOT your Buddy, Guy!' in your mind while you watch this. It will be hiliarious!

Everybody likes South Park, Right? Check This Loooooooooop

2009-04-10T02:10:00.002-04:00

This is the new 'I know you are, but what am I?"

I am offically insaneeeeee

Cuban Gynecologist Now Sells Cars

2009-04-09T22:12:00.000-04:00

Sportz (Part 2)

2009-04-09T22:11:00.002-04:00

SPORTZ ! ! ! (part 1)

2009-04-09T13:54:00.006-04:00

BAZEBALLZ ! ! !

FENCZING ! ! !

SHOTPUZT ! ! !

BOARDGAMZ ! ! !

SELF-AGRANDIZEMENT ! ! !

Haven't done any of these for awhile

2009-04-08T14:55:00.001-04:00

Mighty Putty!

2009-04-07T17:00:00.001-04:00

Bill Gates' BOOK OF FACE

2009-04-07T12:34:00.002-04:00

(click for BIG)

Hey! I Have the First Two Pieces For My Lame Collage!

2009-04-07T10:23:00.003-04:00

George Brett's Kommode Story

2009-04-07T01:20:00.001-04:00

?!

2009-04-06T13:21:00.000-04:00

Its true, those people annoy me!

2009-04-05T16:02:00.001-04:00

Amazing New Products!

2009-04-04T23:59:00.004-04:00

You must buy right now!

"I'm sorry, what did you say? Everyone is dying of AIDS? Yeah, I know, I know its rough, but Jesus..."

"Wee."

Cookie Monster Cupcakes!

Finally, honesty in advertising.

WANT! want...

I've got a lot of Happiness and Cyanide Building Up In My Bleorg File, So...

2009-04-04T23:50:00.004-04:00

I know, I know, I promised to never again put more than one masturbation post up in the same day, but I just couldn't help myself!

OK, Sorry for the mishaps. Let's try this one more time..

2009-04-04T17:36:00.001-04:00

So, um, is there a way to embed YouTube clips?

2009-04-04T17:33:00.001-04:00

2009-04-04T17:25:00.001-04:00

Ever Wonder Just How Mean You Really Are?

2009-04-03T16:17:00.003-04:00

/b/ knows.

Needs No Introduction

2009-04-03T16:15:00.000-04:00

Better Late Than Never!

2009-04-03T16:14:00.000-04:00

Life in New York-Alien Loves Predator

2009-04-03T14:33:00.000-04:00

I am NOT kidding!

2009-04-02T13:50:00.003-04:00

Look what Robert Brockway @ Cracked.com did:

Check out the whole hot mess here!

Nice Haul Of Bleorg Today!

2009-03-31T14:27:00.003-04:00

WANT! Waaaaant!

Alright, Winter. Let's End This!

2009-03-29T12:21:00.001-04:00

What?

2009-03-28T15:06:00.000-04:00

LOL!

2009-03-27T15:28:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I'm a Gamer Too...

2009-03-27T14:41:00.000-04:00

This Week In The News

2009-03-22T01:45:00.000-04:00

If There Was One Thing I Could Change About The Human Brian, It Would Be The Urge To Asume Correlation Implied Causation.

2009-03-22T01:42:00.002-04:00

Dig?

OW MY HEAD PART II

2009-03-19T11:23:00.001-04:00

OW MY HEAD

2009-03-15T10:53:00.000-04:00

Here's some off-center Bill

2009-03-10T04:06:00.000-04:00

Normally I'm Not a Crass Person But...

2009-03-09T00:15:00.006-04:00

This inflatable inner-tube is a real product released by Marvel in anticipation of their new feature, X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Anticipation, indeed.

This is actually how I talk now that I am addicted to the internets

2009-03-02T14:57:00.002-05:00

Bill Hicks!

2009-02-28T16:48:00.002-05:00

Wha?

2009-02-28T14:08:00.000-05:00

And Ofcourse The Best David After Dentist

2009-02-23T00:30:00.000-05:00

Why the F not?

2009-02-21T11:02:00.000-05:00

Baby Mop from Chris Milk on Vimeo.

The Boy With the Incredible Brain

2009-02-18T21:26:00.002-05:00

This guys math skilllzzzz are unreal. It's from 60 Minutes. Watch the top video first and so on.

The Mayor of Lansing Answers NO QUESTIONS, YOU GOT IT?

2009-02-18T21:23:00.001-05:00

David Goes to the Dentist

2009-02-10T22:54:00.003-05:00

I would totally do this to my children, to punish them in advance for the teenage years.

And the hits just keep on coming...

I lol'd

2009-02-06T14:41:00.000-05:00

The Red Phone transmits gigglez

2009-01-26T19:30:00.002-05:00

The "Love Doctor" knows the secret to the Obama's happy marriage...

2009-01-21T11:24:00.003-05:00

... fisting.

Jump to the 1:45 mark to hear for yourself.

And at the 3:40 mark the interviewer ends the interview with a clarification. I'm pretty sure the director was shouting in her earpiece, "Please, God, explain what she meant by fisting 'cause the crew can't stop laughing and this'll be on YouTube in about 30 seconds."