Bleorg Blog!: December 2008

Saturday, December 13, 2008

DEAD TO ME

As seen on my BOOK OF FACE page, these folks are now rendered DEAD TO ME:

This Senator is a fine example of the NIGHT WALKERS. Look at him, he lacks blood, therefore he seeks it with an unquenchable thirst:

Hey there, look at this BLOODSUCKER. It's obvious at first take that this man fears daylight and can only be nourished by the blood of the living, breathing worker:

Look at this poor souls blank and emotionless face. He clearly yearns for the life blood of free will. He is incapable of speech, and often tends to make moaning and guttural sounds. He is normally encountered wearing whatever clothing he wore in his human life, prior to reanimation. The blood of the tired and weary labor worker nourishes his urge:

Friday, December 5, 2008

Norwegian Nazi Zombies... I am SO seeing this movie!

EIN. ZWEI. DIE!

Online "chat" with computa

I was having problems with my bank today and I found out that you can "chat" with a representative online...during this "chat" I became determined to figure out if I was talking to a computer, not a person. You decide:

Chris: What up yo

Chris: I haven't gotten my balance emailed to me in a few days. What's up with that?

Carrie: I would be happy to assist you with that. Just one moment while I access your account information.

Carrie: Chris, I apologize for the confusion. Our records indicate that you are not enrolled for online banking. Therefore, email alerts will not be emailed to you.

Chris: I share an account with my wife, Mrs. Chris.

Carrie: Since the online banking account is listed in your wife's name, please have her contact us at (such and such #) for assistance. I apologize for any inconvenience.

Chris: She gets the balance emailed to her and I used to get the balance emailed to me. Not sure what happened. On the "Delivery Options" page it shows her email address as primary and mine as secondary. Perhaps that's why? How do I set it up so I get the emails too? I mean, literally like 2 days ago I was getting.................

(I was typing this and then that last comment appeared so I gave up on it).

Chris: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Carrie: You may enroll for online banking in order to receive email alerts.

Chris: yeah but I was getting them not 2 days ago. I don't get

Chris: me thinks you are machine. no compute

Carrie: Unfortunately, since the online banking is not in your name, I am unable to provide you any information regarding the Alerts on your account.

Chris: no need computer..I figured it out myself. Jeezzzz. MAN: 1 / MACHINE: 0 hahahahaahahahh

Chris: That's my email, therefore, I do not need an online account to get account balance info. Come on computer, you're slackin

Chris: One more question: what's the return on your CD's these days?

Carrie: Your wife may have added your email address to receive Alerts. One moment for CD rates!

Please wait while I transfer the chat to the best suited Product Specialist.

(so, I get transferred to "Katie" who I was able to confirm as human..BUT....AS IT TURNS OUT SHE WENT TO OSU!!! So, not quite human).

You are now chatting with 'Katie'. How may I assist you today?

Chris: jimminey Christmas. I added myself. I was there when I did it. Listen computer, I don't think you know what's going on here.

Chris: "Katie" are you a computer too?

Katie: No, My name is Katie (some last name I'll take out)

Katie: I am located in Columbus, Ohio

Katie: How can I help you today?

Chris: Really? Cool beans. That "Carrie" was such a computer. How are your CD's looking?

Chris: Go Blue!

Katie: We currently have a few different CD promotions with a $10k minimum deposit requirement. To qualify for this promotion, you must have an existing National City checking or savings. Otherwise, you would have to open at least a Free Checking Plus or Money Market Savings with $1500.

Chris: So how are you today?

Katie: Great! Were you interested in opening a CD account today?

Chris: No, I was just trying to determine whether or not you is computa. Are you a buckeye?

Katie: Yes, I am

(Now that I think about it, is she saying "yes I'm a buckeye" or "yes, I'm a computer"? Shit I'm going to have to go back and start another fake conversation and delve into this further)

Katie: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

Chris: sweet. We'll getcha next year....alright...take care. I'm glad you're not a computer. Go blue!