Thursday, October 29, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Not the best forum, but...Here's a New Project I'm Working On.
Last of the Mohicans - Starring Daniel Day-Lewis (1992)
A League of Their Own - Starring Tom Hanks (1992)
The Last Samurai - Starring Tom Cruise (2003)
Dangerous Minds - Starring Michelle Pfeiffer (1995)
And In Another Vein:
Bound - Starring Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon (1996)
Brokeback Mountain - Starring Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal (2005)
What do you guys think? Looking for imput. Thanks.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Andrew W.K. Parties With Kids
Andrew W.K. hosts a new kids game show, "Destroy, Build, Destroy." It appears to be Junkyard Wars for kids but with bazookas. Wish I had this to watch instead of Double Dare as a kid.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Sooooo. Um, when's the next bleorg post?
WHAT? Fuck you guys, I was busy! And where the hell are all your posts?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Someone's Going To Get Rich Selling This And That Pisses Me Off
I thought the bath robe was perfectly designed. It's so perfect that the Snuggie people have made millions marketing a robe that you wear backwards. I must be wrong. Why else would this have needed to be invented?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
This very susinctly sums up the very real need for a service like Bleorgblog
Would you call me up and leave a joke on my voicemail? No, of course you wouldn't. You, instead, BLEORG.
It is vaguely less embarrassing.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Whose 69th Birthday Is It?
Did'ja catch the birthday wishes on Channel 4 this morning? I'm guessing you didn't, hence, this post.
I can't believe somebody submitted this and was able to sneak this past the director, the dude who sets up the teleprompter, the geek who made the graphic, and the anchor.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
200th POST!!!
All things being equal, we now know that the internet has-bare minimum-200 funny things on it.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
The Matrix hits Bollywood for Middle Aged Men!
So hard to decide what the best part of this is...my vote is the Elvis Glasses. I kept waiting for them to get broken and for him to finally get angry.
What's your vote?
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
One More From the Vault
You treat your stepmother with respect, Pantera, or you'll be sleeping in the street!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Ran-God-Damn (Part 1 of an ongoing series of random Bullshit)
I'm tired of pretending that this stuff is supposed to knit together into some kind of a higher medium. Sometimes shit is just funny: I give you:
"So you claim wigs do--what now--for a man's dignity?
Is there a hot key for "Enlarge/Flipbook?" Imagine this in 24fps. Epic! Click for big!
Lawn: In Order.
I just want you know know who much of a coward I am, because RIGHT NOW, I am NOT hiding behind a trash can, waiting for a chance to do this...
"So you claim wigs do--what now--for a man's dignity?
Is there a hot key for "Enlarge/Flipbook?" Imagine this in 24fps. Epic! Click for big!
Lawn: In Order.
I just want you know know who much of a coward I am, because RIGHT NOW, I am NOT hiding behind a trash can, waiting for a chance to do this...
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Introducing the Greatest Japanese Anthropormorphic Paramilitary Bunny Drama Ever Made!
Be sure to watch in HQ!
I'm totally getting a bunny just so I can name him 'Botasky'
I'm totally getting a bunny just so I can name him 'Botasky'
Monday, April 20, 2009
Fuck My Life
I recently began to follow fxxxmylife on Twitter. Its the twitter feed for the website http://www.fmylife.com which is a site where people send in short anecdotes that all end with 'fuck my life.'
Here's a few of the better ones from the last week:
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years having sex with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!!". April Fools was 12 days ago. FML
Today, a women drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible to do. Now my house is condemned. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML
Today, I was at the aquarium with my boyfriend. I ran to my favorite section: the petting section and started petting a sea slug. My boyfriend eventually came up next to me and I jokingly told him "this feels a lot like your cock". When I turned to him, it was a random 10 year old boy. FML
Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML
Today, I was working as a counselor at a fat camp. The kids bet me I couldn't do a sit-up while blindfolded. Never one to turn down a bet from minors, I set out to prove them wrong. When I sat up, my nose went right into a fat kid's buttcrack. FML
Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, my entire family blamed me for the death of my grandpa, because I didn't go to church this morning. I didn't go to church because I was the only one who volunteered to stay with him that night, because everyone else wanted to go play on my uncle's new Wii. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML
Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Here's a few of the better ones from the last week:
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years having sex with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!!". April Fools was 12 days ago. FML
Today, a women drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible to do. Now my house is condemned. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML
Today, I was at the aquarium with my boyfriend. I ran to my favorite section: the petting section and started petting a sea slug. My boyfriend eventually came up next to me and I jokingly told him "this feels a lot like your cock". When I turned to him, it was a random 10 year old boy. FML
Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML
Today, I was working as a counselor at a fat camp. The kids bet me I couldn't do a sit-up while blindfolded. Never one to turn down a bet from minors, I set out to prove them wrong. When I sat up, my nose went right into a fat kid's buttcrack. FML
Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, my entire family blamed me for the death of my grandpa, because I didn't go to church this morning. I didn't go to church because I was the only one who volunteered to stay with him that night, because everyone else wanted to go play on my uncle's new Wii. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML
Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
SPORTZ ! ! ! (Part 4)
Zoccar ! ! !
HOONZ ! ! !
DANZ ! ! !
CHEAP SEATZ ! ! !
A-SEXUAL PANTZ CRAPPINGZ ! ! !
HOONZ ! ! !
DANZ ! ! !
CHEAP SEATZ ! ! !
A-SEXUAL PANTZ CRAPPINGZ ! ! !
Friday, April 10, 2009
SPORTZ ! ! ! (Part 3)
TENNIZ ! ! !
MOTORSPORZ ! ! !
BLOODPREZZURE ! ! ! MEDICAZTIONZ ! ! !
HUNTINGZ ! ! ! SLASH REINACTINGZ ! ! !
LAWN MATINEZ ! ! !
MOTORSPORZ ! ! !
BLOODPREZZURE ! ! ! MEDICAZTIONZ ! ! !
HUNTINGZ ! ! ! SLASH REINACTINGZ ! ! !
LAWN MATINEZ ! ! !
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